Are You the Enabler to Your Addicted Loved One?

Are You the Enabler to Your Addicted Loved One?


You have an addicted loved one and they won’t quit using. This can be a tough situation to handle. Take a look at addiction and family for a minute. While you are not responsible for their addiction, think about your role in their addiction. Are you the enabler to your addicted loved one? There may be some things you are doing that enable them to continue their use. If you are doing these things, stopping will give them less leverage over you and allow them to take more responsibility over their addiction.

Covering Up for Them

Whether it is at work or in their relationships, if you are covering up for your addicted loved one, this may make you the enabler. In the past, you may have called into work and said they were sick even though they were high or hungover. You may have called their spouse and said they were going to be late getting home because they were helping you but they weren’t. If you have been covering up for your loved one, this shows you how addiction and family mix sometimes.

Giving Your Addicted Loved One Money

Your addicted loved one spends their money on alcohol or drugs. If you give them any money, you are contributing to that addiction. You are also mixing addiction and family more than they should be. If you aren’t giving money directly to the drugs or alcohol, it is money to cover up for what they have already spent. Don’t be the enabler who covers the addict’s tracks like that.

Ignoring the Problem

Yes, sometimes it is much easier to ignore that your loved one has an addiction. However, when you do that, you are being the enabler. You are allowing them to think nobody knows about their addiction and there isn’t a problem. Don’t be that person in your loved one’s life.

Addiction is Not a Phase

There are many people who have an addicted loved one who will say “they are just going through a phase”. If you have been doing this, know that you are enabling them. Addiction is not a phase and it is something your loved one needs help with to overcome.

Addiction and family mixed together do often get complicated. You can stop being the enabler and allow the addict in your life to take more responsibility over their own addiction.