Parents of Addicts: You Shouldn’t Blame Yourself

Parents of Addicts: You Shouldn’t Blame Yourself


As a parent of an addict, there will be many emotions running through your mind every day. You may be frustrated, upset, sad, depressed, uncaring and more. You may even blame yourself. How does family history affect addiction? If it is part of your family you may have an even more difficult time not blaming yourself. What can you do to stop feeling like that?

Confronting Your Feelings About the Addiction

One of the first things you need to do to stop blaming yourself about your child’s addiction is to confront your own feelings about the addiction. Did you agree with them drinking or using drugs when they first started? If you thought it was okay that may be why you blame yourself now. However, you must remember it was their choice and then the addiction took over. Are you angry because you can’t do anything about it? Sorting out any feelings you have about the addiction can help you to start blaming the addiction and not yourself. How does family history affect addiction? If you know other family members with an addiction, you may blame yourself even more because you couldn’t stop your own child. You are not at fault. Recognize your feelings and work through them so you can stop putting blame on yourself.

Use Serenity

You need to find serenity if you are blaming yourself for your child’s addiction. They have an addiction and hopefully they are going to overcome that. However, this is something that is out of your control. You can’t control how things are going to turn out. If you can get serenity in your life, you can let go of what is not doing any good for you. You can let go of that blame, those angry feelings about the addiction and any resentment you have towards your child as well. Allow serenity to save you in this situation so you can end the blame you put on yourself.

If you blame yourself because you have a child with an addiction, this needs to stop. This blame is not going to serve you in any way and it certainly isn’t going to bring any more positivity to your life. The addiction your child has is out of your control. All you can do is let them know you love them and help them get into treatment when they are ready. How does family history affect addiction? You can talk to your child about this and let them know you are letting go of the blame.